Description: This is an article about wells-fargo-ceo-portal, which is a comedy. The story happens when you’re opening an account and the banker asks you questions, writes down your answers, and then disappears for 15 minutes.
Tom let’s go over your mid-session. Did you offer them about water to keep them busy while we are talking about all the sales opportunities? They are in a hurry. Can we please try to keep this to only half an hour this time? They want a second free checking account for their rental property.
Let’s go over your MGF that you did. They already have a savings account, debit cards, credit cards, rewards mortgage, home equity, loan, a line of credit and business accounts. They need to open this account and get back to the office.
What about a savings account for this rental property so that they can earn some interest? How about to set aside for a rainy day or is overdraft protection for the rental property? Why would you need overdraft protection for an account that you only deposit into?
What about debit card rewards for this new account? Why would somebody pay $12 for rewards on a debit card? They said they don’t want or need but I went ahead and ordered one anyways and told them to cut it up.
You would get off my back about these sales. How about this Veronica? How about you get out there and talk to them about it yourself? I don’t want to take away any of the customer experience from you. I want to ensure you are profiling correctly and not missing any sales opportunities for the customers sake.
Where is their 401k? Look at that. The customer is at the teller line screaming at poor Amanda wondering what is taking so long. Can I please have the new account booklet to open this account? It sounds like this is going to hurt our stores pack five percentage.
Maybe you should send them to the branch down the street to open this account. That way their branch manager can deal with the lower pack percentage not me. Pack five percentage. Pack this. My customers are all angry and I have to go out there and explain what took me so long.
This is to benefit the customer. But I don’t see the benefit in making our customers angry to get more sales they don’t need. To sum up we’re going to offer them eight products and hope they agree to at least three more besides the checking and debit card.
What’s the worst that could happen by offering products? It’s a numbers game. The more we offer the more they’ll agree to. I already look like enough of an idiot because they asked me if I could look up where the nearest Starbucks location is and I had to tell them I’m sorry Mr. Customer.
I cannot do that for you. I don’t have internet access. I’m legally able to drink represent our country in war and handle your finances. But I’m not trusted with access to the Internet. Please accept my apology.
Now Veronica you want me to offer them a 401k rollover, auto insurance, pet insurance, 1/3 savings and a remittance account to the Philippines when all they want is a free checking account with no monthly service fee and no minimum balance for their rental property.
That’s right. Tom, get them. I have so much faith in you. Plus we committed to 68 solutions today and only had four so far. We have to be at hard-deck by the two o’clock call and it’s already 1:30. That’s when you disappear for two hours instead of helping our branch and talk about how many sales we are missing and how we are going to magically make them appear.
That two hours when you are gone is the best part of my day. Because it’s the only time I have to breathe unless we need an approval or a new account booklet. You are nowhere to be found and we have to tell our customer that their time is less valuable than the almighty branch manager who is on a phone call.
It sounds like you understand. I need you to get out there and do the things that I never did and never would do myself as a banker about that savings account. They will never use the savings. They’re going to get a monthly fee that I will eventually not be able to reverse for them. It will have no benefit for the customer.
That’s their problem not ours. You need to be thinking of your bonus and not recommending what’s best for the customer. If they want to be irresponsible and get a monthly fee in their savings, that is up to them. We are allowing them to have it as a convenience.
What makes you think you know what’s best for their finances? Do we need to go over the solve tool again? You can go over this tool. I know what’s best for the customer not my bonus which ends up being your bonus that you get for sales all day long. Now can I please have that account booklet and please do not come out and introduce yourself to my customer.