Description: This passage is about pof login, in which the author tells us his own experiences on the plenty of fish. He is going to three things today: body type, selfie illusion, selfie illusionist or selfie illusion artist, and the about Me section.
Welcome to another edition today. We’re going to do something a little different, a little more educational. Today we’re going to discuss online dating particularly plenty of fish. Before I start, I am going to say something. Don’t act like you have never been on there.
Because 80% of you females I’ve seen in Jacksonville. I’ve seen you on there. And you need to stop line. Be glad that you can’t comment on plenty of fish. You can on social media. How would they have call you out? We will discuss three things today.
The first section is body type. Then we’re going to go over selfie illusion, selfie illusionist or selfie illusion artist which I like better. And then we are going to talk about the about Me section.
First up plenty of fish gives you four options for your body type. The very first one is thin. Thin means your ass is skinny. I can see your wrist. Somebody threw your sandwich while you were walking down the street. You’ve been mistaken for a tweeker or a crackhead.
You posted a video or a photo of yourself wearing a bikini on social media and you got comments like that girl needs to eat a cheeseburger. Are we clear on what being is?
The next one is athletic. Athletic does not mean that you workout all during the week, you do your meal present and you show pictures of that and then when the weekend comes, you’re down to beers by the pool.
That’s not athletic. That’s not what athletic means. That study means you’re serious. You do CrossFit. You compete. You play sports. You’re under the way to the gym right now.
Next one is Ambridge. Ninety percent of us fall in this category. I like to sling some weights around the gym but I also like tacos and beer. If you followed in this category than your average.
Last one I don’t want to go to say is a plus size, a few extra packs. You know who you are. You feel like you need to lose some weight. You probably should. Personally I’m not into plus-size women.
I didn’t say I’ve never been there. The man who’s ever said that he’s never been there is like some of us back in the day even has what we called a herd. But if I work in two plus-size women and I went to your profile.
I go through your pictures and I see you standing on the beach wearing your onesie. That’s the big girl I’m going to send the message to. Because she is not trying to deceive me. It is PLAs. I’m owning it. Take it or leave it. That confidence is sexy.
Without further ado, let’s break into this. I’m about to blow the lid off a conspiracy. You need to pay attention. I’m going to do this for you for free. It’s called selfie illusions or selfie illusionist. Your women have mastered the art of selfie taken. You can literally trim 50 pounds off your ass by taking a photo from a certain angle.
The first one I want to go over. I like to call these women mug shot marries. You know the drill. You see a girl. You click on it. You go to her pictures. She has eight photos and all eight photos are from up straight mug shot.
She’s wearing something different clothes in the photos but all eight photos are straight mug shot. If you see this, I don’t care what you put down as her body type. You assume that you will run out of gas trying to drive around this woman.
The next one I’m going to have to demonstrate for you is that we’ll take this back support cushion and slide it on. This is going to represent my fat backside. It’s small so I could work with special effects Department.
It’s slim. You can see my ass sticking out. Ass go. Fifty pounds go. It is like that near or far look. I’m telling you this because I got played. I’m trying to help me now. Take the selfie. You got that one down. It’s crazy. I don’t know how you figured this out but jumping literally trimmed pounds by manipulating the camera.
The next one I want to go over will show we are so stupid. We see a girl in bed. We think she’s so sexy. Anybody can lay on their back and get your stomach to disappear when you land in bed, hold the phone up.
But there’s the one you fall for. They lay down in the bed, face down and they’ve got the camera out . It makes everything flat because it’s hiding everything. They do this. You know the little selfie you always do. I swear some of my friends could be at a funeral standing over a dead body and we’re still crazy. You are nuts. We fall for it all the time.
Last one if you live in Florida, you need to pay attention to this one. Girls like to look sexy when they’re laying out by the beach or by the pool. You got your bikini on so they want to look sexy for you and take a selfie and send it to you.
This is what they do. Sit down. I’m sitting on my float sitting on a beach chair. I take the phone and hold it up. You can see how I’m staying flat. I lost my stomach. As I go back to normal, you don’t see that beauty.
The reason I’m telling you this is that I got this experience. I talked to this girl for two weeks. I mean talking. I haven’t met her yet. Letter on POF talking. She has brunette blue eyes and big store-bought boobies.
I finally got to meet this girl and she goes to get out of the car. And I see her through the windshield. I see she’s blushing. She’s smiling. I’m smiling. We are excited and my face goes from changing as soon as she steps out of car.
Five minutes after she exited her vehicle, the rest of her ass finally showed up. Because it was a Austin neighborhood up on 295 halfway to Georgia. I said girl you said you were thin. Now she said I’m not that.
It was a nightmare. It was embarrassing for both of us. I was mad. I thought if you’re going to deceive me about your body type for two weeks before I meet you, what are you going to lie about when we start dating.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking of jerk. But I did. Any man in my situation would have done. I took her home and beat the brakes off of it and then I sent her on our way. I even paid for the gas but the moral of the story shows you don’t do that.
Do you want to see pictures of me from 15 years ago? Be who you are. It’s on hide and manipulator. She’ll be illusions. It was a bad moment for me.
Last section is called the about Me section. This is the part of plenty of fish where you describe a little bit about yourself. I love these. I absolutely love what I see. The real superheroes you click on a photo, you go down to the about Me section.
The first line in the about Me section go something like this. If you’re not at least six feet tall with a college degree and straight teeth, don’t message me. Keep it moving. Girls, what makes you so special?
Let’s have a look. I notice you have 8 photos. In 7 of those photos you have some alcoholic beverage in your hand. It says you’re a social drinker. Out of those seven photos I noticed that six of them you are doing duck face and you are 35 years old.
I don’t know where this started and how it got started. I don’t care. I’m speaking for all of mankind when I say this. Ladies, stop doing duck face. You look like a cat’s ass landed on your face. Simple smile is so much prettier while I’m on the subject.
You ladies would like to take selfies with your mouths open and your tongue sticking out. I don’t know if you know this or not. Every man on the planet including your relatives when we see you doing that, we think about one thing. I’ll let you figure that out.
Last one for today is my absolute favorite. I always save the best for last. You see a cute girl. Click on a photo. Go down to the about Me section. Set something like this if you’re looking for one-night stand or hookup. Don’t bother messaging me. Keep it moving.
I know there are some weirdos out there. Why a grown man would send a picture of his penis to a complete stranger is beyond me. But ladies, if you are going to put that in your profile, it’s probably not a good idea to already have three kids, two babies, daddies.
I see you have a tattoo on the small of your back. It says your non-religious. You smoke. You drink and you don’t have a car. It’s obvious you like to get it on.
If you go out on one of these meetups and you meet a girl on POF for the first time. She has the audacity to tell you at some point in the conversation. You’re not getting in these panties tonight.
Relax, remain calm because you are absolutely getting into Spanish probably within the next few minutes. You see they have to say these things. So they don’t feel so slutty about it. The slutty things they’re about to do it. Women don’t get resilient, new thongs, makeup, spray pan, lotion and hair. They can go home and clean their bathroom.
That’s it for today. I hope you learned something. We’ll take this corner and I’m going to flip it. I go back on plenty of fish and try this again. I slit my wrists now and get it over later struggling. Back on plenty.of.fish.
Make sure you’re wearing a life jacket. You could hook a manatee or you could look a barracuda. Until next time hope you learn something. Be blessed. Don’t forget to smile.